We sat back to back
the silence was an arching vibration of pain and rage
we were caught between two blades.
You begged me to stay and I closed my eyes in bitter consent
and as I relented
I wanted to confess that my rage
was a part of my messiness.
You see
I never forgave you for what you did to me.
That night when I told you that we were going to have a baby and you said to me you were happy.
And that night, while I went to bed to sleep
you left our bed to creep.
Did you think of me with every sip of whiskey as Delilah seduced you on her knees?
As you cried and said to me that you were ready.
You begged me to stay. And I wanted to rip you apart, and so I stayed.
You see, I kept my enemy close so I could bring you to your knees.
You started a war inside of me.
You created a monster that I needed to defeat.
You proved to me that my mama was right when she tried to protect me.
You begged me to stay.
But I was already gone.
That one part of my humanity died
So that your illusion could stay alive.
You see,
being a woman is it dangerous thing
when the only weapon you have is the music you sing.
Beyond the power of manhood lies the power of destruction that vibrates in the arms of a viper who will destroy you with every beat and echo
of memory
that you caused her pain.
A viper writhes in shame even when you’re to blame
Do you remember when you were the one who made it rain?
Do you remember when you were the one who caused the pain?
Because I can never forget no matter how much I say I love you while you wrap your arms around me.
The only thing I can think of is how much I want to rip you apart until you hate me too. And then you will know how it feels like for me to love you.
So go on
Beg me to stay.
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